Pizza Goddess, Part 2

14 Jul

It’s not always easy working with aspiring goddesses. Or shall I call them goddettes? These are the 16 year olds for whom this job is their very first. Pizza virgins. I admit, they bring a certain youthful charm to the snack bar. They are, on the whole, cheerful and agreeable, and work well once they figure out what they need to do. But they are still on that border between adulthood and childhood, and it is not infrequent when they slip backwards. I’ll give you an example. Let’s call our goddette Pepper. Pepper is the most hard working goddette at the snack bar. She’s fun and flirty (first at the window when Apollo appears). She’ll do most any job, except one. She won’t refill the mustard. Pepper can not stand to be near it. The last time we worked together she asked, ever so nicely, if I wouldn’t mind refilling the mustard. Not only does mustard creep her out, she explained, but the ketchup had already touched her. To Pepper, a possible assault by a second sauce was intolerable. How does one respond to this peculiar condiment phobia? Is there even a word for it? I’d be happy to hear from anyone who knows. And yet, there are some for whom mustard brings great fulfillment. Johnny Wolf had to stop a young boy who was sitting at one of our tables and happily squirting mustard straight from the bright yellow bottle into his wide open mouth. The boy blushed and handed the bottle back. But not wanting to disappoint a customer, however young, Mr Wolf filled up a little cup with mustard for the boy’s enjoyment. My heart goes out to anyone who had to be in a closed, confined area with the boy as the condiment worked itself through his system.

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3 Responses to “Pizza Goddess, Part 2”

  1. Ann July 15, 2012 at 11:46 pm #

    I looked it up. The DSMIV, which it the diagnostic manual for counselors and psychiatrists, doesn’t have a specific name for it there is a slang term for fear of mustard. I got this from yahoo answers:

    Because the fear of mustard is fairly rare and has not been studied as a separate phobia it has not really been given a self-defining sub-title in the field of psychology. Until it has been officially classified as a specific and separate phobia it is now commonly referred to as mustophobia

    • hauntedfondue July 16, 2012 at 12:43 am #

      I’m impressed! You deserve a big slice of chocolate cake for your efforts. After seeing your sterling work, I was inspired to search myself and found that Mortuusequusphobia is the fear of ketchup. And while we’re on phobias there’s also Arachibutyrophobia which is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

      • Rum Swizzle July 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm #

        The solution to Pepper’s phobia reminds me of all the work in fast food I’ve done as a teen, seeing most goddettes get really picky over anything and nothing at all. Tis the nature of the age, but doesn’t get the job done. My response to Pepper as a co-worker or manager, “Its your job, just do it.” Fears are to be overcome.
        However, to be fair, most restaurants supply disposable gloves and she should get some to reduce contamination and contact. Creating a safe and sanitary process to follow, should make Pepper’s life a smidge less dramatic.

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